Chicken Pot Pie of Doom
by ChuckyRayFanatic
Summary: I lied, this is going to be lots of events with Chucky and Tiffany. All humorous events! Rated for language
1. Chicken Pot Pie of Doom

**Chicken Pot Pie of Doom**

**This is stupid but my friends thought it was funny… don't ask how I got this idea.**

Chucky stood and looked up at the trash can and pondered. How was he going to get in there?

His wife, Tiffany, stood beside him shaking her head. "Chucky, how in the hell did your chicken pot pie end up in the trash can?"

Chucky pouted. "I don't know, but I want it back!"

Tiffany gagged. "After it's been in the garbage? You are hopeless!"

"I want my chicken pot pie!"

"Then get your damned chicken pot pie!" Tiffany threw her hands up in the air as a sign of hopelessness. "I'm going back inside; you can mourn over the loss of your stupid pie!" She walked back into the house and left Chucky standing by the trash can like a bum.

"I will get my pie, come hell or high water!" Chucky climbed up on one of the boxes and jumped into the can. "Oh, fuck." The can was barely halfway full which meant Chucky was stuck. But his want for his pie drove him to digging through the trash like a dog.

"Where is it? Where is it! Come back to me you tasty pie of doom!"

After digging through every square inch of the garbage and having no luck finding his pie, Chucky threw himself down in a pout.

"I know it's in here!"

"Chucky! Just come inside, I have something else made for you," Tiffany called from the kitchen.

"I can't do that!"

"You can too! Give up that fucking pie and get your ass in here!"

"I'm stuck in the trash can, you moron!"

"Oh my god, you have got to be fucking kidding me," Tiffany mumbled. "And you call _me_ the moron!"

"Shut up and get me the fuck outta here!" Chucky yelled.

"Oh, I'll get you out alright," Tiffany said observing the trash can. She moved a couple of boxes out of her way, then with all her strength pushed the trash can over. "There, are you happy?"

"This is fucking bullshit," Chucky grumbled as he wiped himself off.

"I have nothing to say," Tiffany said glaring at him then walking away.

Chucky sat down to think things over and realized something. If he had dropped the pie in the trash in the first place he would have found it. With this thought in mind he ran back into the house and looked up at the window where he had placed his precious chicken pot pie to cool, which also stood over the trash can, then noticed some crumbs lying around.

Quickly he followed what he could and found an empty pie tray and just as he looked up the family dog came trotting in licking his lips and Tiffany following behind with a smile on her face.

"I think this case has been closed," she said grinning.

"I hate dogs," Chucky growled and walked off.


	2. The Pie of Doom Returns

**The Pie of Doom Returns!**

**A/N: Uh…yea… I obey the reviewers O-O**

Tiffany could have swore after the night before that Chucky would be more careful about where he places his dinner when cooling it, but she was proven wrong. For that next night she made the quick, easy dinner of pot pie's again, this time beef instead of chicken (Maybe she was in the mood to see Chucky fuss over the loss of his pie again, who knows).

Just like he had done before he stuck the steaming hot pie on the windowsill but to Tiffany's surprise didn't take his eye off of it, even when he went to grab a drink or even just help her with small errands. She decided to test him on how much he was determined to watch that stupid pie so she asked him if he could go and grab the kids.

At first Chucky moaned and said no, but she finally threatened him and did what she expected any man to do when he doesn't want to take his eye off something. He went just far enough out of the kitchen to where he could still see the pie and yelled as loud as he possibly could that dinner was ready.

Tiffany wasn't satisfied because she knew Glenda and not even Glen could hear him.

"Chucky, you have to actually go upstairs to get them! You know how loud Glenda plays her music and how attached Glen gets to the computer…"

"Well, then you get your ass up there and yell at them!"

A menacing scowl crept across Tiffany's face and she pointed a finger at him.

"Why don't _you_ get your fat ass up there and get them! For god's sake you could use the exercise and the weight loss," she snapped.

Chucky's mouth dropped open and Tiffany swore that if it could, it would have dropped to the floor.

"_I_ could use the weight loss—"

"Yes you! Look at that pot belly you have! No wonder you are so attached to pot pies! Now get your fat, pie eating ass up there and fetch the kids before I take a suction tube and suck all that fat outta you!"

"Make me, bitch," Chucky snapped at her.

Tiffany lost it. She whipped around, grabbed the kitchen knife from the counter and ran at Chucky with a death scream.

With his eyes popping out of his head Chucky ran screaming from her and begged her to have mercy but she paid no attention to his sobbing pleads and ran faster. At least this way she could get some exercise out of him.

"Okay, okay! I will get the kids!" With that said Chucky shot up the stairs and went speeding to the kids' rooms and pounded on their doors while yelling at them to come to dinner. After that was done he went back downstairs and immediately into the kitchen where his eyes fell on the empty windowsill. At that moment Chucky stopped breathing and clenched his teeth together so hard he swore he heard a few of them crack. Finally he knew what he had to do.

"Where is that fucking dog?" He yelled and took off through the house searching for their Beagle, Kane (The dog's original name was Canine Killer but being too long Tiffany changed it to Kane, and plus the name did not fit the dog at all).

At hearing Chucky's yell, Tiffany rushed off to find him and ran into him as he shot back into the kitchen. Both of them hit the ground at the same time, groaning from the pain the linoleum floor inflicted upon them.

"Chucky, what in the fuck are you doing?" Tiffany asked sitting up and rubbing the back of her head.

"Don't think I have forgotten about last night, Tiff," Chucky said also sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

They were never going to get rid of the migraine that would take over in a couple hours which meant the next few days were going to be hell for them all.

"Oh, so you are blaming the dog for the disappearance of your fucking pie," Tiffany said getting up and walked over to the table while trying to keep from falling over or running into something and making the pain worse.

"Why wouldn't I? He had it the last fucking time!"

With a sigh Tiffany walked back over to Chucky, pulled him to his feet and shoved him over to the table. When trying to get him up on the chair Chucky's brain went dead for a blind moment and he fell off the chair sending the both of them into the floor again.

"Maybe we need to get carpet in here," Chucky said lamely.

"You don't put carpet in a kitchen, hon. It's looks stupid," Tiffany replied.

Both of them had forgotten about the missing pie and instead got onto the subject of carpets and kitchens….

Glenda came in after hearing the commotion and stared at her parents as they argued about carpets. Slowly she raised an eyebrow then casually walked away and back up to her room. On the way up she ran into Glen and warned him about Chucky and Tiffany and he joined her on the walk back upstairs.

"Carpets are one hundred times harder to clean than hard floors if food gets spilled on them!"

"I don't care about how hard it is to clean! Carpets are one hundred times safer than hard floors!"

This argument seemed to go on for hours… until I changed that.

It was now time to get back to the pie of doom.

Chucky rubbed his temples then remembered his missing dinner.

"Fuck! I need to find that little shit!" Chucky went to run back out of the kitchen but Tiffany grabbed him and yanked him back.

"Get your ass up on that chair," she said.

"You are not giving me the bullshit of making something else for dinner," Chucky said folding his arms.

"Just do it!"

"Alright, already! Fuck man, don't have a shit!"

"I am not a man! Now get up there!"

Mumbling with anger and complete frustration Chucky pulled himself up onto the chair and found himself staring right onto the still steamy crust of his pot pie. That was the biggest hit in the groin he'd ever gotten in his entire life (not literally though, that would be painful).

"I am never making a pot pie ever again," Tiffany said removing all the pot pies from the freezer and throwing them out of the kitchen window into the trash can below.

**A/N: Will Chucky object? Will he go and save his precious pies? Stay tuned and find out next time!**


	3. Fruit Pies of Doom Muhaha Pt1

**The Fruit Pies of Doom Muhahahahahahahaha!!!! Part 1**

She hoped to god it would never happen again but she was wrong, and she found this out when they decided to go grocery shopping one evening.

Tiffany knew something was up before they had even gotten into the car; Chucky had a look in his eyes that meant he was up to something, which also meant they would have to stay away from the freezer aisle. It was obvious and you really didn't need sense enough to figure it out, even their dog could have figured it out and been smart enough to stop whatever was going to happen.

"Alright, we are only going for milk, cereal and dog food," Tiffany told Chucky strictly. "_Nothing_ else."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go so we can get home sooner," Chucky said giving Tiffany a look.

"Also, you are to stay by my side the _entire_ time," Tiffany said shoving Chucky into the car.

"Whatever," Chucky mumbled as they drove down to King Soopers.

By now the people had gotten use to the two dolls and there family so they could walk right into any public place with no real worries. Of course, some knew of Chucky's murderous ways, and were sure to keep out of his way.

As they walked back to the cereal aisle the people made way for Chucky which made him grin from ear to ear. He loved going to the store, people were fun to fuck with.

One of the store helpers came up knowing Tiffany would ask for assistance and fortunately for Chucky, it was a very beautiful young woman. As she followed them around Chucky's mouth filled with drool and he stared at her the entire time.

Once Tiffany had chosen the cereal and the young women handed it to her Chucky leaned against the woman's leg and looked up at her with a smile.

"Hey, babe, you look like you need some good lovin'," Chucky told her in the best romantic voice he knew how to do.

The woman smiled back at him. "Sorry, hon. I like men that are _my_ size. Come back when you grow 4 or 5 more feet," she said giving Tiffany a wink.

"Honey, you can have him if you want," Tiffany told her in an ironically serious voice. "You'll most likely kill him in a day."

"I doubt that. Unless he tried something, then maybe I would."

Tiffany smiled. "Oh, he'll try something alright, and you will kill him for it," she said pointing out the dog food they wanted.

Chucky stood away from them in a pout but as soon as he laid eyes on the pastry section his mood brightened. Making sure Tiffany or the gorgeous woman wasn't watching him Chucky made his way to the bottom shelf where the greatest of apple, cherry, pumpkin and pecan pies lay. Sure they weren't chicken but they were pies, and any pie was fine to him.

With a plan already formed Chucky searched his pants for some money, found just enough to buy three of the big wonderful pies then went back to Tiffany.

"Tiff, I am going to go to the hardware store. Maybe they will have something that will make killing someone more enjoyable."

Tiffany studied Chucky to see if he was lying but she figured there was no way he would lie about getting new murder tools.

"Okay, just meet me in the car when you're done."

"Right," Chucky replied taking off out of the store. He stopped just outside and hid in the bushes nearby to keep an eye on Tiffany so he could sneak back in and buy his pies.

For a small while he waited and once she came out and was far enough away he shot back into the store, grabbed a pumpkin, a cherry and an apple pie, ran up to the cashier, paid for them then casually went into the hardware store to buy a couple tools that would make good for killing. Might as well do that because it's what would have happened.

Finding some rather useful tools Chucky paid for those as well (why he's paying for all of it we will never know O.o) then hid the pies in the hardware bag and went to the car.

"Took ya long enough," Tiffany said as he got comfortable.

"Couldn't decide on what I wanted! There were so many things that would do so well in bashing someone to a bloody pulp that I had to just randomly pick some things out then pay for them quickly before I could get the urge to go back and buy the whole lot!"

"Sounds like you," Tiffany mumbled not seeing the contents clearly in the tan hardware bag.

Chucky just grinned as they drove back home.

((Will Tiffany find the pies? What will Chucky do with his new pies once they reach home? Find out next time on the next episode of "Chicken Pot Pie of Doom"!))


End file.
